


Grief and Relief

by Kate1013



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-09
Updated: 2009-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:12:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate1013/pseuds/Kate1013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel has ascended, Teal'c is just Teal'c, Sam is upset and Jack? He just sticks his head in the sand... with surprising results. This is how the team deal with their loss. Set across various episodes of Season 6. S/J</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Redemption

It was three in the morning when he heard the knock on his front door. He wasn't surprised. He should have been, but he wasn't. He rose from the couch, beer bottle still in his hand and opened the door.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, as if that makes it alright to be standing on his front porch in the middle of the night. Her eyes were red and he knew that she'd been crying, and although she came here for some comfort, for some reason she couldn't bare for him to see her tear stained face. "You got another one of those?" she asked, looking away and nodding at the bottle in his hand. Not waiting for an answer, she pushed passed him and headed for the kitchen.

Jack heard the fridge door open, the clink of glass, and then the door close again. Within moments she had joined him on the couch, beer swigging down her throat and her eyes staring blankly at the images coming from the muted TV.

"You shouldn't be here, Carter," he said, not looking at her.

"I know," She whispered, "But everything keeps playing over and over in my head and you..." He could hear the quiver in her voice, "And you won't talk to me so what am I supposed to do?"

He was unsure what it was in her voice that made him meet her gaze, and when he did Jack wished he hadn't. The turmoil she was going through was clear for all to see, and he... he just couldn't bear to see it anymore. Sighing, he got up from the couch.

"Jack don't!"

He hadn't intended to respond but the pure mention of his first name knocked him off guard. She knew how to throw a punch - even a non-physical one. "Don't what?" He cried back, spinning round to face her. She'd followed him off the couch and now stood a few feet away in front of him.

"Keep running away!"

"From what exactly?"

"From Daniel!"

Jack winced. "Oh for crying out loud, Carter!"

"What? He's dead Jack! The sooner you-"

"Daniel is not dead! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You think it makes it any different that he's ascended? He's still gone!"

"No!" Astounded by the volume of his own voice and the eyes that stared back at him, Jack lowered his tone and stared at the floor. "He'll be back... it's what Daniel does..."

His whispers faded out and he stood there motionless for a moment. Beer had splashed onto his hand from his wild gestures and he felt droplets drip from his fingers and onto the floor.

The sound of movement caused him to look up. Sam had shuffled forwards a few paces until she was standing mere inches from his feet. "You may be able to kid everyone else, including yourself, but you'll never be able to convince me that this doesn't hurt you..."

She'd gone back to whispering again and Jack briefly closed his eyes. He didn't know how to tell her, how to explain what he'd seen; what Daniel had said; that he was at peace and happy now. How he'd already said goodbye.

When he opened his eyes again, Jack could see the watery blue orbs staring back at him. He knew in that instant, that he needed to say something, anything, but his words got stuck in his throat and all that came out was a strangled cry. He coughed to cover it up and swallowed the lump in his throat, hoping she wouldn't notice the tears prickling in his eyes.

"He already said goodbye." His voice was barely audible and he watched as Sam craned her head in order to hear. She'd read his report, heard General Hammond's take on the situation, but she still hadn't got Jack to talk to her about it face to face. "He came to visit me... before," Jack waved his hand in the air in some sort of upwards motion. "Told me everything was going to be okay – that he was looking forward to living a new life up there...What was I supposed to do? Make him stop? Make him... Die in that way?"

Sam shook her head, and scrunched up her eyes. "And why you?" She said, and for a moment Jack thought she was upset that Daniel hadn't chosen her. After all she was the one having the most difficulty with it. She was the one who'd cried and spent hours wandering around in his lab, while he'd simply tried to go on with business as usual. But it was the strength in her voice when she spoke that made him second guess her. "Why do you think he came to you?"

Jack wasn't sure if it was a rhetorical question or not, but he didn't have an answer anyway.

"Because he knew you'd have the most difficulty dealing with all this," Sam carried on. "He knew that you'd just shut us all out and not deal with it – "

"Hey, I'm dealing with it, okay?" But his voice was softer this time, no longer angry.

"Then why couldn't you just tell me? Talk to me about it when I asked you to, instead of pushing me away?" Her voice had been strong to begin with, but the quivers had started creeping in again and Jack couldn't help but cringe as she continued. "How do you expect me to grieve when you won't accept that he's gone?"

And with that statement, tears escaped from her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She reached up a hand to wipe them away, but Jack caught her arm in mid air. She tilted her head to give him a look, but he sent it away with his hard stare.

"C'mere," was all he whispered, and tugged on her arm, pulling her towards him.

Sam fell into his embrace with a mixture of grief and relief. Her arms found their way around his back while his just cocooned her to his chest.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into her ear. Her sobs simply wracked through them both in response. Jack just held her tighter and rubbed his hands up and down her back.

He didn't know how long they stood like that, wrapped in each other's arms. But he did know that by the time her cries had subsided, her own shoulder was drenched in tears of his own.

Sun was streaming through the blinds when Jack awoke the following morning. His eyes stung and his chest felt heavy, like he was unable to move. He blinked several times, the room gradually coming into focus. It was then he realised he was on his couch in the living room and that weight on his chest had a head of blonde hair that was tickling his chin.

He stared at the top of Sam's head for a few moments, trying to rouse himself. She lay curled up on top of him, their legs entwined further down the couch, and his hands resting on her back. Jack could feel the heat radiate through her t-shirt; the gentle rise and fall of her lungs; it was all somehow a comfort he never thought he'd experience outside of stargate missions or military command.

Although the thought of staying like this forever would make him die a happy man, Jack knew he should get up. He _really_ should get up. Military issues aside, he didn't like to think what Sam would do if she woke to see him staring at her like that.

He lifted her arms up from his chest and shifted slightly to his left. Her hips slipped to the right and Jack angled his own so that the rest of her body would follow them onto the cushions below. He pulled out a spare cushion and lowered her head onto it before creeping out into the kitchen. He automatically switched on the kettle and pulled some mugs from the cupboard before heading for the back door.

Pausing in the doorway, Jack took a deep breath and glanced out at the back garden. It was late. Well later than he normally rose in the morning anyway. From the position of the sun in the sky, Jack stabbed a guess that it must be at least 10 or 11am. But despite the bright sky and lack of clouds, there was a crispness in the air, and Jack felt a chill run through him as a gust of wind circled where he stood.

That was until a warm hand claimed his back.

He looked down at his companion as she moved round to his side. She held a small smile and Jack allowed it to spread to his own lips. Something was different. Emotions had shifted and been rearranged. And despite the troubles he knew they would bring, Jack found himself liking this new place they'd found themselves in. It was warm, easy, and so incredibly tension free.

Her smile spread into a grin, and Jack suddenly realised he'd been staring at Sam this whole time and she hadn't even moved.

"Coffee?" He asked, as the kettle whistled behind them.

Sam nodded and reluctantly dropped her hand to allow him to move. "Are you going to cook me breakfast?" She asked with a slight leer in her voice.

As she shut the door and followed him into the kitchen, Jack simply threw a grin over his shoulder. Daniel, he thought, I owe you big time...


	2. Chapter 2

It was two days later when Jack heard the knock on his front door again.

"It's open," he called, knowing that it was bound to be someone he knew this late at night. Sure enough, two seconds later, he found himself looking up at his second in command with a smile on his lips. "Hey Carter, come on in." He waved with his hand to the space next to him on the couch. Ever dutiful, she followed his order, picking up a bottle from the table as she went.

"Who's playing?" Sam asked, plonking herself down and unscrewing the cap of her beer. The look of disbelief on Jack's face was not lost on her. She smiled and took a gulp, eyes trained on the TV screen.

"You don't like hockey," Jack stated after a moments silence.

Sam simply shrugged. "I don't like half those films we watch with Teal'c but I still watch them."

Jack regarded her for a moment before turning back to the game. "Talking of Teal'c, where is he?"

"Said he wanted to be alone..." Both their eyes moved from the screen back to each other. "I think we need do something," Sam continued, "He's taking this harder than I thought he was."

"Give the man time, Carter."

Sam snorted. "Like you?"

Jack scrunched up his face and turned away again. They sat for a moment in silence, watching a puck fly backwards and forwards, various players scrambling after it.

"We could go see a hockey match," Sam suggested.

"You don't like hockey," Jack repeated for a second time.

"Well maybe it's about time I did," Sam said indignantly.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yes, I heard you, but!"

"But what?" Sam asked. "You don't think Teal'c would like it?"

"I don't think _you_ would like it."

"Can you stop-" Sam cut herself off at Jack's look and crossed her arms in a huff. She pretended to stare at the screen for a while, occasionally sneaking glances out the corner of her left eye to check on him.

Strange enough, Jack was doing the same. He could see her fidgeting and yet trying to remain still. They made a right pair. A smile graced his lips – him and Carter a pair...

"Okay, out with it!" He cried, deliberately stopping his own trace of thoughts and inadvertently making Sam jump. "Why do you want to go to a match?"

Sam eyed him suspiciously for a moment, wondering if he had a trick up his sleeve. "Because as nice as this is," she gestured at their surroundings, "we need to do something as a team and seeing a match would be the perfect excuse."

Jack nodded at her silently, knowing Sam could see the cogs turning in his head. He took a sip of his beer before replying. "We could go fishing?" The inflection at the end of his sentence made them both aware that it was more of a question than a statement.

"No."

"Why not?"

"You and I both know why not," Sam said, throwing him a glance before turning away.

"We do?" Jack's profess of innocence made her turn back and stare. Her eyes bored into his for a second, and Jack suddenly wondered what exactly she was trying to tell him with her eyes.

"We do," Sam responded. "Besides Teal'c hates fishing..."

Jack held her gaze for a split second before turning away. He wasn't going to push it. Not just yet anyway. Things had being going well between them since the other night and he didn't want to spoil it. "Okay." He sighed, referring back to the hockey.

"Okay?"

"Okay," Jack repeated.

Sam leaned back into her seat with a smile on her face. "Good," she said.

They settled back into a comfortable silence, finishing their beers and watching the second part of the game. Sam even made some appropriate comments, forcing Jack's eyebrow to rise once or twice. He wasn't sure if she was expecting a reaction or not. He kept quiet, a small smile the only action betraying his thoughts.

"So..." Jack said once the second part had finished and the ad breaks came on. "Why did you come? Seeing as Teal'c said no and you think we should do a team thing...?" The question hung on his lips, quiet and serious. Sam watched as he picked at the label on his empty bottle. He looked up when she didn't answer. "Because this is 'nice'?"

A slow smile appeared upon her face. "For want of a better word... yes, this is 'nice'."

"Nice." Jack repeated again, turning the bottle round in his hand as he did the word on his tongue.

Sam's smile turned into a grin.

"You do know that if you did come fishing, all we'd be doing is pretty much what we're doing now, right?" Jack's voice was slow, quiet and deliberately careful. Sam could detect the fear in his voice. "Except here, of course, you have the opportunity to leave whenever you want..."

Sam swallowed hard, her grin now gone. She leaned forwards on the couch, putting her bottle down on the table before resting her hands on her knees.

"It was your idea to start acknowledging things," Jack mumbled, somewhat in defence when she didn't respond. Sam still hadn't looked at him yet.

She sighed. "That transparent, huh?" She asked, looking him in the eye. Her voice was shaking and Jack almost winced, wishing he hadn't gone too far.

"Only to me," He said after a beat.

"I didn't want anything to happen..."

For what seemed like a very long time, Jack didn't move. And when he did, it seemed like he couldn't move quick enough. Setting his own empty bottle down on the table, he shifted, his attempt to get up suddenly halted by Sam's hand on his arm.

"Jack, that's not what I meant," She added softly. Jack simply sat back, avoiding her gaze. "I do think we need to do things as a team – you, me and Teal'c. Get us back on track – allow us all to grieve for Daniel... And yet..."

"And yet?"

"And yet... I want to spend time with you..." Jack's head shot up, his eyes meeting hers. "What I said before... it didn't come out quite right... the regs... they make me feel like this is wrong..."

Jack's hand found hers and he squeezed gently. "I know."

For a moment, they allowed the sounds from the television to engulf them. Blasts of horns, signature tunes and chants echoed around the room and yet they continued to look at each other as though the silence between them was deafening.

"I don't know how to make this right," Jack finally whispered, dropping her gaze and looking down at their entwined fingers.

"Neither do I," Sam confessed.

"So what do we do?"

Sam shrugged. "Watch the match?"

It was intended as a joke. A pun. A bad one like Jack always does to break the mood. But Sam wasn't expecting him to put his arm around her shoulder and settle them back into the cushions. After a few minutes, Sam raised her legs and leaned into him, her body sprawled across the sofa. Jack simply watched her, his instincts making him pull her closer and, unable to help herself, Sam rested her head on his chest. She found herself wondering if she was going to spend a second night that week asleep with Jack on his couch. The thought passed though, as a fight broke out between two players on the screen and diverted her attention.

They watched the remainder of the match in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

When Sam awoke, she found herself surrounded by darkness. She paused a moment, trying to get her bearings. She could feel Jack's heartbeat underneath her hand, his breath softly brushing the hair on her head. She glanced at her watch, adjusting her wrist slightly in order to catch it in whatever light filtered into the room. It was almost three thirty.

Raising her head, she paused slightly, using the situation as an excuse to stare at the man who lay beneath her. She has watched him sleep many a time offworld, but somehow this felt different. He seemed more at ease somehow. Not that it should be much of a surprise to her. They were military and she herself never did completely relax on a mission, recon or non-recon, so why should he. And despite everything they'd been through; all the times she had visited him in the infirmary, Sam had never honestly considered the way in which Jack slept before. Until now. She knew this image of him would be permanently etched into her brain. Tucked away and only pulled out in those moments when she was all alone.

Sighing inwardly, Sam braced herself to leave Jack's warmth. Gently pushing herself up, she eased her limbs out of his grasp and stood next to the couch, eyes scanning the darkness for her shoes. If she was honest, she couldn't remember taking them off. But then she couldn't remember falling asleep, or Jack turning both the television and the light off. Daniel's departure was effecting them all in different ways. Sam's, it seemed, was sleep. Or lack of it.

Finding her right shoe, she pulled it on, turning around to locate the other one. Not a good move, she surmised, when she spun round and collided with said shoe, tripping over it and narrowly missing the coffee table as she tumbled to the ground. A series of expletives hissed out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"Sam?"

The soft, groggy voice of one Jack O'Neill filtered through the darkness and Sam froze.

"Er...Yeah?"

A small light flicked on in the corner of the room and Sam squinted, raising her right arm to block the light.

"Whatcha doing?"

Sam rubbed the back of her head and looked up from the floor to see Jack's shadow looming over her. "Putting my shoes on," she said, accepting his arm and allowing him to pull her to her feet. Resting one hand on his shoulder, she reached back, hopping on one foot before slipping on the other shoe.

Jack's hands hovered at her sides, still full of sleep and unsure of whether to touch her or not. "Down there?" He asked, one eyebrow raised.

Sam felt a wave of embarrassment sweep over her. "I fell."

"Oh."

Sam smiled somewhat grimly.

"You okay?"

Sam nodded but continued to rub the back of her head. She hadn't hit it hard, her body taking the brunt of the fall, but she didn't want to risk a bruise forming. Brushing your hair with a bruise on your head was painful enough, without having to wear combat helmets.

A mere second had passed before Sam felt Jack's hand brush her own. Her eyes locked with his, unable to hide the surprise as his fingers tangled in her hair and rubbed at her scalp. She dropped her hand to her side, her gaze never leaving his.

"Better?" Jack whispered.

Sam's vocal cords froze. Better? More appropriate words filled her brain, and she coughed lightly, trying to clear her throat. But before she could get a word out, Jack leaned forwards, blocking all light from her vision, his lips descending on hers.

Her eyes closed instantly, lips succumbing to the warmth and soft caress that overwhelmed her. The gentle pull of his hand on her head urged her to respond and she kissed him back, softly, sweetly, savouring the moment.

Sam wasn't sure what she was expecting. Of all the scenarios that had run through her head at various times, this certainly wasn't one of them. Not that she was complaining... Her brain just couldn't put any of it into words yet.

When Jack eventually pulled back, unable to breath and gasping for air, Sam found his hand still tangled in her hair; the other one resting firmly on her hip. "Sorry..." He breathed.

It wasn't until he saw Sam's smile, sleepy, sultry and natural all rolled into one, that the nerves and uncertainty left his body.

"Don't be," she whispered back, and pulled him back for more.


	4. Descent

The ice hockey match was put on hold. An evil Goa'uld plot and the small matter of saving the world somehow got in the way... as per usual. Jack didn't mind. A normal mission for SG1 would help them get back on track... right?

Wrong. Jack felt like hell. And he wasn't entirely sure that it was just the fact that he'd nearly drowned several hours ago. His chest burned. Badly. It was like his heart had swelled to ten times its size and was forcing his lungs into his ribcage. His face still felt wet, despite having dried himself hours ago and changing into a dry set of BDUs. He wiped a hand across his face and prayed that they weren't tears stinging his tired eyes.

For a fleeting moment, under that water, he thought he was going to die. Lungs heaving, heart racing, eyes burning... He had squeezed Sam's hand – a recent memory helping him cling on until Jacob could set them free.

Not for the first time on this trip, his thoughts had turned back to Daniel.

"You're all done," Jack heard the doctor on board say to Carter. They were on a private plane heading back to the mountain, and despite being checked out once already when they'd landed the death gliders, Jacob had ordered the USAF doctor to do it again when a crew had arrived to take them home. Jack knew Janet would only check them out a third time once they got back to the SGC and he wasn't looking forward to it.

He looked up to catch Sam's gaze as the doctor headed towards him. There was no doubt that she was feeling exactly the same way he was. He could see it in her eyes. He watched as she swallowed a lump in her throat and jumped off the medical bed. She settled into a seat behind Jonas and stared out of the window. Jack was oblivious to the doctor checking his vitals as he watched his second in command close her eyes and pretend to sleep. He knew it was to keep her father from asking more questions. Luckily Jacob had kept his distance from all of them since the flight had started.

Once the doctor had finished, Jack had found Teal'c standing stoically near his right elbow. The Jaffa had a blank expression on his face.

"Are you well, O'Neill?"

Jack nodded. "I'm fine. Do me a favour will ya?" Jack looked up to see Teal'c cock his head. "Go sit next to Carter?" Jack held his gaze for a moment, Teal'c not needing an explanation before silently bowing his head and following his order.

Jack sighed inwardly, jumping off the bed and heading to a seat on the other side of the plane. He watched as Teal'c switched on the TV screen in front of him and flicked through the film options. Finding something he liked, he tapped his fingers on the screen and reached for his headphones. Jack saw him pull another pair out and hand them to Sam. She hesitated, knowing what he was doing, yet accepted them anyway. Jack smiled to himself as she rested her head onto his shoulder and settled into the movie. He could always count on Teal'c.

Jack rubbed his hands down his face and sighed, ignoring the strange magnetic pull of the woman seated a few rows up to his left. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

Jack reckoned it was a mere five minutes before he felt the weight dip in the seat next to his. He knew who it was even before he spoke and forced him to open his eyes.

"Jack?" Jacob almost whispered. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Jacob," Jack said, turning to face him.

"You don't have to lie to me, Jack."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "What is it about you Carters?" He was half joking, half serious, which Jacob undoubtedly picked up on.

"I did as best as I could in there-"

"I know – you don't have to explain yourself." He sounded grumpy, Jack knew he did, and he tried to give the General-come-Tok'ra a smile to shake him off. "We're alive, that's all that matters..."

"Is this just about Daniel, or is there something else going on that I should know about?"

Jack stared him in the eye and tried to give him his best Teal'c eyebrow impression.

"George said you were all having trouble dealing with Daniel's death and I know Sam's taking it pretty hard..."

Jack chose to ignore Jacob's first question. "She's getting there..." He picked at a loose bit of thread on the knees of his pants and refused to follow the older man's gaze to his daughter.

"Since her Mom died, Sam's always had a problem..." He broke off and Jack could almost hear him trying to rephrase the words in his head. "Death is hard for anyone, but in the military...? Let's just say sometimes she surprises me at how good she is as a soldier..."

Jack's head snapped back up, just like Jacob knew it would, it seemed, as his eyes were already there to meet his.

"I've seen a lot of men die in my time, Jack."

"I know," Jack said simply, "So have I... So has your daughter for that matter. She's a damned good soldier."

"I know..." Jacob cocked his head to one side, a faint smile on his lips.

Jack wondered exactly what point the man was trying to make. He shook his head and let out a long sigh, "Daniel is... _was_... like a brother to her..."

"And you?"

Jack could feel Jacob's eyes boring into his, and he knew there was a double meaning behind the man's question as well as his gaze. Jack swallowed. "He was like a brother to me too," He said, going for the former and forcing the words out before he had too much time to think about it. Jacob's eyebrows rose. "Hell, Jacob, what more do you want me to say?"

"Jack," Jacob said, sighing, "I know that as Sam's commanding officer, you will do everything in your power to protect her in any given military situation..."

Jack paused, staring at Sam's father. His chest was back to burning again, his eyes dry and yet stinging like hell. He couldn't even swallow the lump in his throat. Instead he settled for nodding.

"But I also know that you guys are like family..."

Jack shifted. He didn't like the idea of where this was going. Or where he thought it was going. His chest felt tighter and suddenly it was too much to breathe. He could feel a wave of nausea threatening to emerge and his attempt to gulp it down failed. He thought he heard Jacob's voice, but the rush of blood in his ears drowned out any other sound. When black and green dots blurred his vision, Jack knew this conversation was over.

He lost consciousness before any more words could be said.

-0-

Jack awoke to the sound of beeping machines and the distinct smell of disinfectant.

"Infirmary?" He asked, his voice hoarse and dry. There was a quick squeeze of his right hand in response and Jack opened his eyes to see Sam looking down at him.

She nodded, a smile on her lips. "You passed out... Something about a lack of oxygen reaching your brain..."

Jack swallowed, clearing his throat. The room was quiet, almost dark and he guessed it must be late at night. He wondered how long he'd been out. When he glanced back at the woman by his side, he couldn't help but smile. He knew that she had snuck in unauthorised.

"Dad?"

Her smile became a grin and here was something else in her eyes; a look of mirth, mischief even. He couldn't quite place it. "He had to go back to the Tok'ra." Her hand left his and Jack watched as she slipped it into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "He told me to give you this," she said, sliding it into his.

Opening it up, Jack looked down at it and smiled.

'Take care of her.'

"Just what, exactly, were you and my Dad talking about when you lost consciousness, Colonel O'Neill?"

"Actually, I don't really remember," Jack lied, and then added, "Major..."

"Really?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "I could always call him back you know..."

Jack grabbed hold of Sam's hand again. "Please... don't!"

Sam laughed. She looked at the mixture of mock horror and real fear on Jack's face and screwed up the piece of paper. It landed in the waste basket in the corner of the room.

"You look better," Jack uttered, his voice soft, eyes creasing as he smiled.

Sam slipped her hand back into his. "So do you..."

"I..." Jack stopped. The words got stuck in his throat; their meaning becoming jumbled up in all the confusion currently pulsing through his veins. He still couldn't distinguish between the emotional and physical pain he was experiencing right now. That was one reason why he never did the whole 'feelings' thing.

"It's okay," Sam whispered.

"No it's not..." Jack looked back up into her eyes. "I thought going on a mission would help..." He shrugged, breaking eye contact and instead staring at his thumb as it traced circles on Sam's palm. "I still miss him..."

Sam squeezed his hand. "I do too..."

When Jack squeezed back, Sam took that as her cue and motioned at him to move over. He eyed her curiously, yet shifted anyway and watched as she placed her hands on the bed and hauled herself up. She smiled at the confusion on his face. "Mind if I stay a while?"

"What about the doc?"

"I'll take my chances..." A sly smile slowly emerged onto Sam's face.

Jack simply smiled back and resisted the urge to kiss her.


	5. Chapter 5

As the final seconds of the second period came bearing down, the puck flew across the ice and skidded into the net. A horn sounded, cheers echoed around the arena, and practically the whole of one side of the audience leapt up out of their seats.

That was, all except Teal'c.

Jack glanced at Sam, seeing a grin on her face and her arms still in the air clapping loudly. Jonas, he noticed, was literally jumping up and down with joy, a goofy grin matching his and Sam's as they all basked in the teams scoring glory. Teal'c, on the other hand remained still in his seat, one eyebrow raised at his teammates.

"C'mon T!" Jack goaded.

"I still don't understand the purpose of your sporting events, O'Neill."

"How can you not like this?" Jonas cried, butting in before Jack could respond. "I mean, it's amazing! Men doing battle, working together to achieve the same goal... so to speak...It's not far off from what we do..."

Jack watched as the Jaffa eyed the other alien curiously. "Man's got a point..." he added, waving his hands about his sides. Teal'c's glance moved in his direction.

"So," Jonas rubbed his hands together, temporarily ignoring the man still sitting beside him, "More beer?" He asked, looking at Sam and Jack.

They both nodded and Jack handed him some cash. "And get some more hotdogs."

Jonas simply nodded, somehow managing to drag Teal'c up onto his feet and off in the direction of the food stalls. The other two sat back in their seats and watched as the ice was being re-smoothed and some guy drove around firing t-shirts into the air.

"So much for Teal'c enjoying a team night out," Jack said, throwing a smile her way as he turned to look at the woman by his side.

Sam simply shrugged, "Well Jonas certainly seems to be enjoying it..."

"That kid would enjoy getting hit by truck, if only it were for the first time."

Jack's eyes roamed Sam's face as she remained silent, her eyes simply twinkling back at him. Not for the first time that night, he wondered what the hell they were doing here. In the stadium of a team he didn't support; his 2IC actually enjoying an ice hockey match; and two aliens – one of which was bored stiff, the other acting like a kid in a sweet shop. His mind drifted back to Daniel, as it had done almost constantly since his friend had ascended. Jack never thought that losing him would make him feel like this – constantly wondering what the other man was doing, if he was looking down on them right now, wondering too, what the hell they were doing...

"Daniel would've hated this," He shook his head, only realising that he'd said it out loud when Sam's hand reached across and squeezed his. He looked up into her eyes for a moment, searching for something... answers mainly, as to why she'd brought them here. He still couldn't work it out.

"Yeah, he probably would have..." Came the reply after a moment of silence. She didn't continue though, despite the fact that Jack knew she could see the question thrown at her.

Jack dismissed it with a shake of his head. "You know, sometimes..." he swallowed, "I think he's looking down on us... like there's this gust of wind and I just know..." Jack broke off and closed his eyes momentarily. The image of Daniel standing at the bottom of the ramp in the gate room appeared before him uninvited. Try as he might, he still couldn't get it out of his mind. He felt like it had been haunting him constantly. The only thing that seemed to make it go away was the woman sitting silently beside him. A sudden attack of guilt hit him and Jack briefly wondered if this thing he and Sam had started was all about healing themselves, and nothing to do with actually loving each other at all.

When he opened his eyes he noticed a sad smile on Sam's face.

"He reminds you of Daniel, doesn't he?" The question Sam put before him made him lose all trace of his previous thoughts. "Jonas, I mean."

Jack looked at her. _Really_ looked at her. He didn't think that she could know all these things he was feeling... Hell even he didn't know half the time. But sometimes it seemed that she was able to tap into a part of him that he didn't even know was there. Both her eyebrows were raised, expecting an answer and yet not surprised when she didn't get one. She seemed to be sitting there patiently. For what Jack didn't know.

"He's not him, you know..."

And there it was. The reason why they'd come here.

Daniel got excited about old dusty things; Jonas about absolutely everything. Daniel couldn't live without his coffee or a decent amount of sleep; Jonas would surely explode if he had any form of caffeine and never seemed tired, even after staying awake for several days straight. Daniel hated sport; Jonas, it seemed, loved it...

Sam's sad smile was back and Jack suddenly felt guilty again. For there on her face wasn't just an expression of sadness for Daniel; there was worry and fear too. For him, Jack realised. His sanity and happiness were something she was concerned about. Many a time this blonde bombshell had stopped his beating heart, but never had it happened like this. How could he even question their relationship? All he could see in her eyes right now was a love restrained.

Jack felt like leaning forwards and kissing her there and then for all to see.

Fortunately, or maybe not depending on how you looked at it, Jonas and Teal'c chose that exact moment to return. Jack felt a rush of cold air as Sam's hand suddenly left his and turned to his two other teammates with what he hoped was a blank expression.

"Here you go, Major, Colonel," Jonas handed them each a paper pint glass and took his seat next to Jack. If he noticed anything, he didn't mention it.

"Ack!" Jack cried suddenly at him. "You know, Jonas... you don't have to keep calling me that. We're not on base right now you know."

Jonas looked at the older man with a sheepish grin. "Is that why you and Sam haven't called each other 'Carter' or 'Sir' all night?"

If he was drinking, Jack would have surely spat out his beer. As it was, a strangled cough had lodged itself in his throat and he couldn't see any way of removing it without appearing guilty. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a frown on Sam's face. She hadn't noticed it either, it seemed. At least it was a subconscious act for both of them, he thought.

Behind Jonas, Jack noticed a curious-looking Teal'c peering over at him. If Teal'c could ever peer, but Jack knew that look... that eyebrow and what it meant.

"T?" Jack croaked, conveniently ignoring the question and instead pointing to the tray in the large man's arms. A series of hot dogs lay piled on top of each other. "You gonna share?"

To anyone else, they wouldn't have noticed, but Jack saw the Jaffa hesitate ever so slightly before responding. "Indeed."

And as Jonas passed the hotdogs onto them both, Sam and Jack exchanged a smile. 'Lucky escape' the look said. Jack even suppressed a wink. Sam uttered her thanks as she accepted the edible distraction and Jack couldn't help but grin. "You're welcome," He said and stuffed a hot dog in his mouth before anything else could come tumbling out.


	6. Abyss

It was almost dark by the time Sam got him home. Jack had been silent throughout most of the journey. He didn't protest when Doctor Frasier had suggested that Sam should collect him from the infirmary – he simply didn't have the energy. He had barely glanced in the major's direction when he told her he was going for a shower. She hadn't responded – merely looked at him before heading into his kitchen with a bag of food.

That's where he could still hear her now. The closing of a fridge door; the scraping of a kitchen chair.

Jack wasn't sure how long he'd stood in the shower for, letting the water cascade down his body. Somehow hoping it would warm him; make him feel human again. He now sat on the edge of the bed, again for how long he didn't know.

Sam must have stayed in that kitchen for well over an hour.

The bedroom door slowly creaked open. If she called his name, Jack didn't hear it. He glanced at her briefly, eyes falling back to a spot on his carpet that he just couldn't take his eyes off. He felt the bed dip and the faint warmth of Sam's body as she sat down beside him.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Jack could hear the hesitation in her voice, the way she was trying to cover it up by keeping her body perfectly still.

"Yeah," He whispered, surprised by the sound of his own voice.

It wasn't until Sam made a move to get up that Jack realised that it had come out wrong. He made a grab for her arm, "No," he corrected, and pulled her back down again. "Please..." He made eye contact with her, those brown orbs almost pleading, saying the one thing he didn't think the rest of him could. "Will you stay?"

Sam didn't speak; simply nodded and stared back at him. Jack could see unshed tears in her eyes and something else... an understanding of sorts.

"Come here..." Sam tugged on his arm, pulling Jack down to lie backwards on the bed. She arranged a pillow underneath his head, and then snuggled up beside him. Her head resting on his chest; arms snaked around his middle and her right leg entwining with his.

They lay like that for a few moments, both fully clothed on top of the bed sheets, before Jack began to feel its effects. Sam's breath flowed onto his chest, a slow warmth creeping over his skin. For an instant, Jack thought his heart may well finally unfreeze. He trailed his right arm down her back, his hand finally resting upon her hip; his left covering hers around his middle, and then pulled her close.

"I'm sorry," Sam's whisper cut into the stillness of the room.

"For what?" Jack's voice croaked. It was thick and laced with emotion – something Jack didn't even think he could begin to comprehend.

"For making you go through that."

He squeezed her tight and closed his eyes. He could still see the look in her eyes when she'd told him. Asked him. Her lips had asked, her eyes had pleaded. The rational part of her brain was spurting out the benefits of a Tok'ra symbiote; the knowledge he could gain; the countless lives he could save. Her heart had said something else, and even through all the beeping of the infirmary and the people in the room, Jack had heard its silent plea loud and clear.

"You didn't," He said finally.

"Jack I-"

"I know," He squeezed again. "You were right..." his hand rubbed her back, "As always... How it turned out – the Goa'uld..." He still couldn't bring himself to utter the creature's name just yet. "It wasn't your fault... It was no one's fault."

He wasn't sure, but he thought he felt those tears in her eyes finally disperse. They were hot, and dampened the t-shirt under her head, but Jack didn't care. As long as the warmth spread through to his skin, he knew he was going to be okay.

'You're going to be okay.' The words echoed through him and Jack bent his head down, kissing the mop of blonde hair before him. He wanted to tell her, to explain what he thought he saw... But he didn't know why, for some reason, mentioning Daniel didn't seem quite right just now.

"What happened with Jolinar..." Sam began. Her sudden words were soon joined by her fingers drawing lazy patterns on Jack's chest. "I've never been so confused..."

Jack closed his eyes and willed his body to relax. He concentrated on the feel of Sam's fingers dancing across his skin, and simply let her words wash over him. Her concerns, her fears... her complete experience with the unwanted Tok'ra and how it affected her. At the time Jack had worried, even bringing in Cassie to help bring Sam back to herself. She'd known it at the time, too. There was a reason why they'd never spoke of it before...

Now she was telling him everything, and for a different reason. Trust Sam to figure it out. The torture, the pain... It wasn't pleasant by any means. But she knew that he'd been through it before. She knew that he'd work through it eventually over time. But having a snake in his head? Jack shuddered and pulled her as close as he could muster. He listened as she whispered, her words soothing and reassuring, and sent a silent prayer to Daniel. He knew he was going to be okay.


	7. Allegiance

The fire flickered and burned before them, creating light and shadows. Jacob watched the effects dance across his daughter's face and followed her line of sight. She was watching some members of the Tok'ra pack up their belongings, the Za'tarc detector among them. In the distance he could hear some Jaffa celebrating; at another fire to his right, Bra'tac was telling old stories to Teal'c and several young warriors. Jack, he could see, was sitting off to one side cleaning his weapon. Just far enough away to be out of earshot, but close enough to keep an eye on everyone.

"It still bothers you, doesn't it?" Jacob broke the silence and Sam turned to face him. "Whatever happened with that machine?" A grim smile flashed across Sam's face and she nodded silently. "Are you ever going to tell me what went on?"

"What's to tell?" She shrugged. "It didn't work properly. Not on me, not on the Colonel, and not even on that Jaffa, it seems..."

Jacob simply stared at her. "It has something to do with Jack, doesn't it?"

Sam refused to meet his eyes, opting to stare at her hands in her lap instead.

"I saw the way he grimaced too," Jacob continued. "And Anise isn't exactly what I'd call subtle."

"What do you mean?" Sam's head shot up suddenly, intrigued.

"Well getting knocked back by Jack and then finding out he... you know... I'm not sure that she's ever experienced rejection like that before..." Jacob watched his daughter's eyes grow wide. A blush crept up her cheeks, visible even in the darkened night. He chuckled before adding, "George told me."

"How did he-"

"You don't get to be a commander of a base and not know everything that's going on."

"But what about patient confidentiality?" Sam was almost stuttering now, her embarrassment sharply getting replaced by anger.

Jacob simply shook his head. "I don't know all the circumstances, Sam, but I'm just glad I've got someone like George to look out for you."

"I don't need looking out for," she muttered indignantly, which prompted another short laugh from her father.

"Trust me Sam, you're not as invincible as you think," He stated, looking her in the eye. "Surely that whole incident taught you that much?"

"That was two years ago, Dad – a lot has changed since then."

Jacob sighed loudly, his gaze flicking over to the man in the corner. "Not everything," He said, his gaze coming back to meet hers. Sam looked at him for moment, before dropping her eyes. Her sweeping glance at the Colonel didn't go unnoticed either.

"You need to be careful, Sam."

"What do you mean?" She asked for the second time in a matter of minutes. Her voice had suddenly taken on a wary tone.

Jacob tilted his head at her, a slight smile on his lips. "Come on, Sam! If I've noticed, and I'm not always around that much, I'm betting that others have too."

"Noticed what? I haven't- We haven't-"

Jacob simply raised an eyebrow at her stuttering, causing Sam to sigh and run a hand over her face.

She hadn't realised that she was breaking the rules. Not that she didn't know; not that it hadn't been an issue for so many years; not that it hadn't been holding her back whenever one of them got injured. But it was only now that it hit her like a slap in the face. What had she done? What had they done?

She swallowed hard, and fought the tears that threatened to prick in her eyes. When she looked up at her father, she knew she had guilt written all over her face. She took her hat off and ran a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath.

"You really didn't know that what you were doing was wrong?" His voice was soft, but distinctly held the tone of a commander.

"It's not that," Sam said quietly. "We just- it just..."

"Happened?"

Sam nodded, her eyes finally looking up from the hat in her hands.

"And if Daniel had survived?"

"This is not about Daniel..." Sam let out a loud breath and diverted her gaze.

"Do you love him?"

This time the tears did emerge, and she blinked them back, willing herself not to cry in front of her father. The fact that they were having this conversation was embarrassing enough. No wonder Jack had passed out.

"Yeah," she whispered shakily, breaking the stretch of silence.

"Sam," Jacob sighed, "It's not that I don't think you and Jack aren't good for each other, I do..."

"But?" She turned away, not entirely sure that she wanted to know the answer.

"There are just better ways of going about this... You've worked so hard to get where you are – I'd hate to see you throw it all away."

"I know..." Sam sighed. She suddenly felt like she was ten years old again and had just been caught with her hands in the cookie jar. It was that condescending voice he used – not angry, just merely disappointed. Growing up, it was what made Mark think that, no matter what he did, he could never satisfy him. She had simply worked harder to appease him. "But it's not as though we planned it..."

"So you're telling me that you're throwing away your career because of one heat of the moment?"

"No! And I'm not throwing away my career!"

"Sam, if anyone finds out-"

"Who's going to tell them?" She looked pointedly at her father, and he stared back at her for a good few moments before shaking his head.

"Sam..."

A few tears tumbled down her cheeks and she reached up to wipe them away with her sleeve.

"I'm not going to say anything, but you need to talk this through with Jack, before someone else _does_ say something."

Sam nodded but still avoided his eyes. She realised that she'd not only disappointed him, but herself as well. And not just because of the tears she'd shed in front of her father. She'd vowed to stay strong, not cave in, and when the time came, do things properly. But she hadn't. Despite their best efforts, neither of them had. Keeping things in that room had simply made everything intensify until someone broke the door down and everything came bursting out. Like how love is sometimes never enough, she now understood that pure will alone wasn't either.

Placing her hat back on her head, Sam dried her face down with her hands and rose to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked.

"For a walk," Sam said, throwing the statement over her shoulder as she trudged off away from the campsite.

Jacob watched her leave, her form disappearing into the shadows within moments. When he turned to look at the people around him, he noticed that Jack too, was watching the retreating form of Samantha Carter. Jacob ran a hand down his face and turned his head away, his gaze falling on Bra'tac and Teal'c again. It was a good ten minutes before he had the guts to look back, and when he did, the Colonel was already gone.


	8. Chapter 8

She was sitting on a grassy embankment when Jack finally found her. Knees drawn up, arms hugging them to her chest. She wiped some tears from her eyes when she heard him shuffle behind her.

"Want some company?" He asked. If she didn't know him so well, she wouldn't have detected his hesitation.

Sam nodded and waited until he came to a stop beside her. He dropped down onto his backside, his knees also drawn up in front of him. They now sat barely an inch apart, almost but not quite touching.

"Are you okay?"

Sam nodded again, not quite trusting her voice just yet. She was still annoyed with herself for getting upset in the first place. She wasn't sure what Jack had seen, if anything, but the fact that he'd come after her meant something at least.

She continued to look out ahead, seeing nothing but darkness. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jack flexing his hands, almost as though he was itching to touch her. A few seconds passed before he finally caved in and placed his arm around her shoulder, drawing her near.

"Dad knows..."

She sensed a pause before Jack spoke. "I thought we'd already established that?"

She felt his hand rub up and down her right arm. "It wasn't that kind of 'chat' this time..."

"Oh..." his hand paused.

"More of a reality check," Sam continued, "What happens when someone finds out, what about our careers," Sam waved her hand about in the air in some mock gesture of her father, "That kind of 'chat'..."

Sam felt his grip tighten on her arm slightly, before he swallowed. "You mean the kind that we've been avoiding...?"

"Yeah," She whispered. Jack shifted beside her, his hand dropping to support his weight on the ground behind her.

Sam ducked her head down, realising that they still hadn't made eye contact yet. It was difficult to see him in the darkness anyway, away from the light of the flood lamps and the fires burning back at the camp. Part of her wondered if that was why Jack had given in. Encased within a black fog that no one else could see them. Maybe he felt safe. She knew that there was a part of her that did, despite the risks it held. But then they'd already been taking risks and damning the consequences, what difference did one arm around her shoulder make?

Her father was right. They'd forged ahead with this 'relationship' or whatever it was, forgetting the real world outside and all the ramifications of their actions. But they'd come too far now to turn back. Too far for it to be a simple mistake, and they were in way too deep for them to stop, even if she wanted to. But she didn't want to. That much she knew.

"We're still not ready for that kind of 'chat' are we...?" Jack asked, breaking Sam out of her reverie.

"No," She said simply.

He paused. "Just checking."

Sam thought she could detect a faint smile in his voice. She looked up, searching for his face in the dark. She saw his lips turn up slightly at the corners, catching his eye and smiling slightly in return. Their eyes remained locked, even when Jack leaned forwards and tenderly wiped the wet streaks that stained her face. The silence between them lingered, but Sam could see the look in his eyes. How he yearned to comfort her, his hand cupping her chin while the rest of his body almost screamed with a need to be doing something else.

"There was something else," Sam whispered. Jack's eyebrow rose as she carried on, "Something else I realised..." She bit her lip. Could she say it? Neither of them had yet. She took a deep breath, and calmed herself. She wanted this to be right. At least part of this could be. "I love you."

She had thrown caution to the wind. Even threw him a grin when his eyes briefly grew wide in shock. He recovered well, a few seconds later, when he pulled her chin forwards and leaned down to kiss her. His lips were soft and warm and Sam nearly melted beneath him.

Jack pulled back a moment later, a hand stroking her hair while his eyes stared down at her. "I love you, too."

Sam felt her heart stop. If only for a second, but it definitely stopped. She grinned at the stupidity of it all, feeling like some giddy teenager sneaking behind the bike shed with some boy. Thinking back, she'd never actually done that, but she was certainly too old to be starting now. And what she had with Jack was so much more than some crush or rush of lust.

"What are we going to do?" Sam whispered.

"I don't know."

The reality was definitely sinking in, if the looks on either of their faces were to go by.

"There's no hockey match to save us now..."

A huff of laughter rolled out of Jack's mouth and Sam smiled at the warm air that graced her face.

"No..." Jack shook his head, "No there's not..."


	9. Unnatural Selection

It had been well over a week since he'd seen her. Well not seen her, exactly, more like spent time with her – it wasn't as though he hadn't seen her every day at work since then. 'Quality time' was what he'd started calling it... amongst other things. And today? Well today wasn't the best time to kick start things again, but Jack really didn't think he had much of a choice.

Not unless he wanted things to get worse.

And he really didn't want that.

Since the events on the alpha site, Sam and Jack seemed to be in a state of flux. The reality of the situation had really knocked them for six. They knew that they couldn't bury their heads in the sand forever and that somewhere along the line a decision would have to be made. The fact that neither of them knew what to do didn't really help matters. Because of this, they'd been subconsciously keeping their distance from each other. Well Jack assumed that was why. For some reason he didn't think he could trust himself to be in a room alone with her under that heap of a mountain.

On the other hand, since their declarations to each other, the other side of their relationship had upped a notch. Despite the lack of 'quality time' and the fact that he had been constantly shoving his hands into his pockets in order to stop himself from touching her, Jack was pretty sure they had been constantly flirting with each other. It had all been verbal interactions – whispers in her ear when no one was watching; the odd innuendo when someone was. Not to mention the look in her eyes... God how Jack lost himself in those blue eyes...

Maybe that was why he couldn't trust himself, he mused.

But those blue eyes had been throwing daggers at him for the best part of twenty four hours now, and Jack was damned if he was going to let it continue for much longer.

"How long did you say until we reach Earth?" Jack asked Jonas, just as Sam got up to leave the table. They were sitting in the mess hall on the Prometheus, the remnants of their breakfast scattered on four plates in front of them.

Jonas blinked back at the Colonel, momentarily confused. The man had already asked him several times during the course of their journey. "A few more days," he replied, deciding to ignore the tension that was almost tangible in the room.

With a loud sigh, Jack got up from the table and went in search of his 2IC that had wandered off without a word. Jonas and Teal'c merely shared a look.

Jack found her several minutes later in her lab. Or so he'd dubbed it. He was pretty sure it was called something else.

"So, if I'd got my way, and we had called this 'The Enterprise', would we call this the engine room?" He raised his eyebrows and tried to appear nonchalant.

Sam peered over at him, her eyes seemingly giving him the once over as he stood in the doorway, a slight smile turning her lips. "I guess," she said with a sigh.

"Sam..." Her eyes stopped him before he even got started.

"Please don't."

"You don't think we should talk about this?" Jack waved his hand in the air, his voice raising a little.

"Yes, but not here."

"Why not?!" Jack paused when he realised he was shouting. Stepping inside the room, he pushed the button and waited until he heard the door swoosh shut before he continued. "I just came to explain..."

"You don't need to." Sam said, keeping her head down and staring at the monitor in front of her.

"I... I don't?" Jack stuttered. He glanced at her, his eyes sweeping up and down before he realised that she was trying to throw him off. "But you're still angry with me!" He cried.

"Yes!" There was that voice again.

"Then stop being so stubborn and talk to me about it!" Her piercing eyes were back and if Jack had been any less of the man he was, or simply any less angry, he knew he would have wanted to shrivel up under that gaze. "Okay, so that was the wrong thing to say!"

"You think?!"

"You're not the only one who's angry, you know?!"

"What have you got to be angry about?!"

"Well, maybe the fact that I ordered you to do something that you didn't want to do, for starters!" Jack looked at the shocked expression on her face. Her eyes were tired, her body too by the way it sagged against the controls. He felt a little shame about taking advantage of her silence, but continued anyway. "You put me in an awkward situation out there, Sam!"

"What?!" Her voice was back.

"What did you think would happen if we brought him back? You know Hammond would have hit the roof after last time!"

"I would have explained-"

"And what would you have explained to _him_ , to fifth? After they'd locked him up and conducted experiments on him? Where's the humanity in that?" Jack watched as Sam swallowed a lump in her throat and fought back tears in her eyes. She still stared at him though, long and hard, and Jack hissed before turning away. "Jesus..."

He ran his hand through his hair and down over his eyes. When he looked back at the woman before him, he noticed that she'd shifted. Avoiding his gaze, she stepped back and sat on the stool beside her.

"I'm sorry," Jack said, breaking the horrible silence.

"For what?" Sam whispered, not daring to raise her head.

"For... everything, I guess. This whole, stinking situation..." He waved his hands for dramatic effect. "I did what I had to do, Sam. It was the lesser of two evils. Was it morally wrong? Yes maybe, but... Between that and saving the universe, I pick the universe. Every time. And if that makes me a lesser person, then..." He sighed, "Well I guess that's something I've always been..."

"It's Abydos for you all over again, isn't it?" Sam asked.

Jack swallowed. He hadn't thought about it, but she was right. He'd had to make that choice all those years ago. Fortunately for all of them, things hadn't gone quite according to plan. He nodded silently.

He watched Sam hesitate slightly, before she stood up and walked over to him. She stopped mere inches from his feet and paused. Her eyes darted to his lips, then his eyes before she spoke.

"You're no longer the man you once were, Jack..."

"Then who am I?" His voice was barely a whisper as he stared back into her eyes. Shaking his head, he turned away briefly, before clearing his throat and looking back at her. "The funny thing about this... is the very thing that I'm angry about, is the very thing I love about you. It's what I respect about you. It's the thing that makes me think you'll make an excellent commander someday..." Sam's eyes widened slightly at that and Jack couldn't help but smile. "But it's also different to how I do things and..."

"You wouldn't be where you are today, if you weren't?"

"Actually I was going to say 'and despite trusting your judgement' but well, that fits too..." He looked down at her and faked a smile. "It stinks! But like I said, it's the lesser of two evils... someone has to make that choice. And being Colonel, that's me..."

"And if they try to come after us? The replicators I mean?"

"Do you think they will? I mean after that time dilation thingy?"

Jack watched Sam's mouth open, ready to spout her science babble. He signalled with his hand, cutting her off before she even had the chance to speak. She smiled briefly before tilting her head and shrugged. "I'm not sure... but if Fifth is really like us humans, he's going to be pretty angry right now..."

"Great," Jack muttered. "So that's three people in this galaxy who are angry right now."

"I'm not angry anymore," Sam said, taking a step closer and wrapping her arms around Jack's neck. His eyebrow rose as he looked down at her. "Well, maybe still a little..." She sighed, attempting to will the tension in her body to evaporate.

"How about we do something about that?" Jack whispered, his hands coming down to rest on her hips, his lips brushing her ear.

Sam almost giggled. "With Teal'c and Jonas around? I don't think so!"

"Well I think Teal'c knows so..."

Sam froze. "Teal'c knows?"

"Well I'm pretty sure he does. He's Teal'c – he knows everything."

"How can you tell?"

"He's been giving me the eyebrow of late."

Sam laughed. A full throaty laugh and Jack watched, mesmerised by the movement in her neck as she tilted her head back.

"I'm surprised Jonas hasn't asked, given that he always seems to have a question about everything..." That elicited a groan from Sam. And not of the good kind. Jack chuckled in spite of himself.

"I've missed this..."

Sam felt Jack's breath tickle against her throat and tucked her chin back down to look at him. One eyebrow was raised. "It's been a week," She stated.

"Eight days actually," Jack corrected and pulled her close. "Impressed?"

"A little..." A smile danced across Sam's lips.

"I can live with that."

"Jack..." Her tone held a warning.

"Please," Jack murmured, his face burying into her hair, "Can we just enjoy the moment?"

"Okay," She sighed, and Jack felt her fully relax against him for the first time in what felt like ages.

"We'll talk when we get back," He promised, and tightened his arms around her.

For now they'd just wait.


	10. Chapter 10

"Okay, I have a question," Jack said, his fingers trailing down the bare skin of Sam's back.

They were lying in her bed, covered in rumpled sheets and bathed in the moonlight that filtered through the window. In their haste, they hadn't even closed the curtains. Not that Jack minded – he could see the stars from his position. In fact he wouldn't put it past her, if the woman beside him had deliberately positioned her bed for this very purpose. Star gazing in bed certainly had its advantages.

"Why do you claim to _not_ like hockey?"

The fingers that were playing with the faint curls on his chest, stopped. The woman they belonged to simply looked up at him with big eyes. Her body remained pressed into the side of his, her rising head now creating a cold patch on his chest where it had lain for the best part of half an hour.

"Why do you ask?" Sam simply asked.

"Well, it's a fast paced sport and we all know how much of an adrenaline junky you are." That earned him one eyebrow. "I know full well that you like ice skating – lord knows you've taken Cassie enough times." That one a smile. "And you can't tell me that all the fun you had, when we went to that match, was just for the team's benefit."

Sam's smile turned into a grin and just as she opened her mouth to speak Jack raised his finger.

"And all that hockey jargon you used can definitely not be faked, that much I do know. So... what gives?"

"You really want to know?" Sam asked. She propped her head up on her elbow, her other hand continuing its ministrations on Jack's chest. He nodded silently.

"In college, I dated this guy..."

"You dated in college? Ow!" Jack feigned hurt as Sam playfully slapped his arm.

"Anyway, he used to play for the school team and so I used to go watch him play."

"And now you hate it because...?"

Jack could see Sam staring at his raised eyebrows and smiled as she stifled a laugh. His playful mood was becoming infectious, he realised, and fast becoming a distraction. Part of him wondered if it was just avoidance tactics or the mere fact that they were enjoying this so much.

"He was a jerk." Sam shrugged, "It put me off."

"You stopped watching because of some guy?" Jack asked, almost incredulous.

"Hey! I started watching it again because of some guy!" She gave him a slight nudge and grinned.

"Point taken," Jack mumbled and settled back down on the pillows again. After a moment, he felt Sam do the same and his hand took up its previous position on the small of her back.

"Do you think we're suffering from space lag?" Jack suddenly asked. He still found it weird that it was almost four in the morning and neither of them was remotely tired yet. And they should be, he thought. They were normally wiped out after a mission, and given their recent activities, he was pretty sure they should be asleep by now.

He felt her chest vibrate as she laughed, "Maybe..."

A few minutes passed before Jack snuggled closer. "Sam?" He swallowed before finding his voice again. "I've been thinking..." He more felt, rather than saw, her eyebrow rise. "Hey, it does happen occasionally." She patted her hand on his chest in response. "I think I should go away for a while..."

Sam tensed beside him and Jack loosened his grip. He waited a few moments, before she twisted in his grasp to seek out his face; just as he knew she would.

"Might do us both some good... you know, allow us some time apart to think."

If his voice wasn't serious enough, his face certainly was, and he blinked back at her as she scrutinised him. She gave him an imperceptible nod before settling back down again beside him.

"I think that's a good idea," she said.

Neither of them spoke for while.

"Where are you going to go?"

"The cabin."

Sam nodded. She squeezed him them, for a few seconds, before releasing him to pull the covers up to their shoulders. Jack felt her wriggle for a bit, trying to get comfortable, before she finally fell still. Her arms still encircled him, her legs now tangled with his; one foot under his calf to keep her toes warm. He wondered who she was trying to reassure with her actions - him or herself. Or both.

"Jack?"

"Hmmm?" He murmured.

"What you said about Daniel, about feeling him looking down on us..."

"What about it?"

"Do you still... _think_ that?"

"Yeah..." Jack whispered. He tightened his arms around her. "I do."

"You don't think he does it... _all_ the time, do you?"

Jack paused. Her voice was quiet and soft, almost hesitant. But in that last sentence it had begun taking on a different tone. Jack squinted into the shadows as he tried to figure out if it was fear or mirth. Or maybe both.

"I don't think- "

His body went still as the thought suddenly struck him. He could feel Sam's body shaking with silent laughter, and almost jumped out of the bed.

"Ah Carter!" He hissed. He grabbed the pillow from behind his head and whacked her with it.

"What?!" She cried, sitting up on the bed and trying to defend herself. She was giggling inanely at him and, despite the idea filling him with dread, he couldn't help but grin back at her.

"That is just _wrong!_ " He cried.

"Hey, you were the one tha-"

Her sentence was cut short by Jack's mouth on her lips. It was a chaste kiss and totally unexpected.

Jack grinned at the surprise on her face when he pulled back. "When I do that," He breathed, "I wanna be thinking about you, not Daniel..."

"Point taken," Sam said, before leaning in to kiss him again.


	11. Paradise Lost

"Are you feeling better?"

Sam looked up at Teal'c and faked a smile. She nodded solemnly before looking back down at the mug of herbal tea in her hand. She tilted the cup, swirling the liquid around and watched as the light from the candles bounced off its surface. It reminded her of the Stargate's event horizon. The first time she had seen it, she had stared at it in awe, her fingers floating through it. So many emotions had danced through her that day; excitement, nerves, as well as fear and apprehension. There were two things that always stuck out the most, however, as she had stood there on that ramp. The cool sensation that swept up her arm from her fingers, and Jack's smirk as he muttered to himself and then pushed her in.

She stilled her hand, waiting for the tea to slow its movement, before lifting the mug to her lips and swallowing the rest of it down. She looked over at Teal'c again. He sat opposite her in his quarters, both on pillows on the floor and surrounded by candles. A distinct smell of lavender wafted up her nose, and Sam was struck by the sudden thought of how the aroma was meant to be calming, or restful, or, bizarrely, somewhat feminine. She narrowed her eyes at the Jaffa, then feeling the strain, wiped at them with her sleeve, noting the wet patch that formed on the cloth when she pulled it away.

"You do not have to speak, should you not wish to," Teal'c said.

Sam nodded again. "Thanks."

She paused, wanting to say something more, but not finding the words. Teal'c's mere presence was enough right now, despite the growing sensation in her chest. It had been there since the day Jack had disappeared; only today it had overwhelmed her. She knew what it was, having recognised it from when Daniel had ascended recently and from back when her mother had died.

It was a horrible feeling. No other way she could describe it. It had started off slow, at first a mild irritation, only appearing when the fear had struck. Like that time she had shouted at Dr Lee for announcing his departure on that planet. She knew she had stuttered and stumbled. That her actions were not rational nor in the slightest bit military. In fact she was surprised that General Hammond hadn't said something, even after she knew what the other scientist had put in his report. It still surprised her how the old friend of her father's was keeping his distance. He'd constantly sought her out after Daniel had gone.

But today everything had just fallen apart. She had headed into the locker room to shower, thinking the heat and the sensation of the flowing water would soothe the burning pain in her chest. She had stood under the spray, feeling it wash over her eyes and hoped it would prevent any tears from falling.

But it hadn't worked, and as she sat down on the bench, fully clothed, she couldn't stop it. The way her heart felt like it had taken over her whole body, making her stomach taut and indecisive, like it couldn't chose between pain or hunger. It was suffocating; her lungs pushed up so high, Sam was unsure which organ had lodged itself in her throat. The tears were hot when they finally fell, the anger gone when Teal'c had put his arm around her. She had leapt into his arms, so full of a grief she didn't want to experience, and yet knowing she needed some form of release. Some way to rid her body of all its unwanted emotions.

She had never needed Teal'c more than she had now, Sam realised. And it was only then that the thought of him needing someone too, suddenly struck her.

"Did you ever think it would end like this?" She asked. Teal'c didn't even raise an eyebrow when he looked at her. "That it would end with just you and me?"

"I did not," Teal'c paused. "However, I never did foresee any type of ending, Samantha Carter."

Sam frowned at the lack of her rank when he responded. It wasn't often he did that, and when he did, it was normally significant. If her head ever stopped swimming, she'd maybe have a chance of figuring that out.

"Really?" She asked. "You never imagined the day when your people would be free? I always thought it would end with us defeating the Goa'uld. You would help Bra'tac in establishing a Jaffa council. Jack would retire and fish endlessly at his cabin." By now she knew she was on a ramble, but was powerless to stop it. "I would finally get a chance to finish all my projects and write that book I always wanted. Daniel would... Daniel would hop from world to world translating inscriptions on ancient ruins..." She stopped, catching her breath a little, her rant almost over. "Dad was right," she whispered, "None of us are invincible..."

Her stomach twisted and Sam wished it would just decide if it wanted food or was going to chuck up her last meal on Teal'c's carpet.

"You and O'Neill have grown close since the death of Daniel Jackson."

Sam tried not to screw up her face as she looked at the Jaffa, unsure if his words were a question or a statement.

Teal'c tilted his head then offered an explanation, "You called him by his first name."

Sam stared at him, certain her mouth was opening and closing like some cheap imitation of a fish. "I never thought I'd find myself here, Teal'c," She uttered with sheer frustration, her voice was barely recognisable, even to herself. "Doing the one thing I never even thought I'd do – breaking the rules and forgetting all the consequences. Making decisions only to have them blown out of the water..." She paused, feeling an onslaught of tears take over. She wiped at the stream that ran down her face and added, "Not that any of this even matters anymore..."

"And yet I do not sense any regret."

Sam paused. "No," She agreed, strange as that was to her, "No..."

Teal'c remained by her side for the remainder of the Colonel's disappearance. A constant force that she drew strength from and yet one that she still couldn't bring herself to completely confide in. Maybe when all this was over. When the pain was gone and she could talk about their relationship without it being an admission of treachery to the military.

But then Jonas had given her the inspiration, and the Tok'ra had found them on the moon, and Hammond had squawked on about Jack being like Daniel and a cat with nine lives.

Even then Teal'c had stayed with her. As they had stood at the bottom of the ramp, watching as Maybourne came through the gate on a stretcher and a member of the Tok'ra supported a limping Colonel. Sam had half hidden behind Teal'c's shoulder, almost using it as an emotional shield. Tears pricked in her eyes at the sight of him, and yet she couldn't even move, even when she saw his smile.

"What took you so long, George?" Jack asked, deliberately ignoring his team members after seeing the look on Sam's face. "Anyone would think you wanted to torture me and use Maybourne as an excuse!"

Hammond simply nodded, and smiled. "You'll debrief in one hour, Colonel, after your visit to the infirmary." He ignored the other man's question, before disappearing out of the gate room.

"Yes sir," Jack called after him, and then turned to the three people remaining.

"You need a hand, Colonel?" Jonas asked, gesturing to the injured man's leg. Jack simply nodded and allowed the man to be his crutch as he hobbled towards the exit.

A few seconds had passed before Teal'c looked down at the woman by his side. She said nothing as she looked up at him, nodding and falling into stride as they followed behind.

"Anything else, General?" Jack asked. They were sitting in the older man's office, Jack having just debriefed his superior on the events on the past month.

"No, Doctor Frasier says you're well enough to go home. She's insisted that Major Carter drive you."

Jack pursed his lips and schooled his expression. He hadn't seen Sam since the gate room, and the brief encounter in the infirmary didn't really count. She'd stood next to Teal'c and Jonas while Janet had given him the all clear, and then wandered off with them shortly after. The Jaffa had mentioned something about herbal tea before Jonas had frowned and screwed his face up. That was the only time Jack had seen him show a dislike for something.

"Jack?" Hammond said with a loud sigh, breaking the man out of his reverie. "Are you okay, otherwise?"

"Fine, sir."

"A month, practically alone on a deserted planet, Jack... give's a man a lot of time to think..."

"I guess..." The weariness in his voice was evident no matter how he tried to hide it and Jack almost winced at the look on the General's face. He knew what was coming next, even before the words 'off the record' slipped from the man's lips.

"My goddaughter has been awfully worried about you, Jack."

Jack swallowed. "Well... What with Daniel gone..." His chest tightened and he sincerely hoped this wouldn't go the way that last conversation did with Sam's father. Why did everyone always want a 'chat' after he'd suffered some injury and couldn't think straight? Or maybe that was their point. Get him off guard so he'd have no choice but to be honest and not alert enough to concoct some story to throw them off his back.

"Son?"

"Is she okay?" Jack suddenly asked, hating the fact that he couldn't resist asking anymore. He ran a hand through his hair and wiped at his face. When his eyes met George's he noticed that he'd been under scrutiny the whole time. "Can we not have this conversation now?"

"When would you like to have it?" Hammond's controlled tone told Jack he was serious. He wasn't going to get away with anything for much longer.

"What are my options?" Jack asked.

"Options?" Hammond cried. He was genuinely surprised.

"I'm tired," Jack said in one long sigh. George merely stared back at him. "Of waiting..." He watched the man across the desk pause, hoping he didn't detect his lie. "Like you guessed – I've been doing a lot of thinking..."

Hammond leaned forward, his hands folded and now resting on the table. A smile perked at his lips as he spoke, "I've been waiting for this day for a long time Jack..."

"Really?" This time it was Jack's turn to be surprised. A sudden thought struck him, but the fact that he hadn't been taken away by soldiers meant he'd managed to keep something under wraps.

"Really. Have you spoken to Sam about any of this?"

"We're both meant to be thinking about... options."

At the General's sudden laugh, Jack frowned, squirming in his seat. George pulled out an envelope from his drawer and handed it over. It was sealed, but blank.

"What's this?"

"Like I said, I've been waiting for this day to come for a while now. Go home Jack, get yourself some rest and talk it over with Sam."

Jack looked at the object with a mixture of fascination and disgust, turning the weight of it over in his hand, before allowing his confused expression to fall upon his commanding officer.

"I'll think you'll find all your interests are covered," George nodded to the envelope and rose from his seat, effectively ending the conversation.

It wasn't until the knock at the door, though, that Jack suddenly roused himself enough to stand.

"Major," Jack was sure Hammond cried her name louder than necessary, after he beckoned the intruder in.

"Hi sirs," Sam looked from one man to the other. "Janet said I should give you a lift home, sir," She added, turning to Jack.

Hammond tried not to hide his contentment over Jack's still puzzled expression. "Off you go, Jack- don't keep the woman waiting."

He saw a look of confusion flit across Sam's face, before a smile washed over to cover it up. Jack simply nodded, before turning out of the room and practically dragging Sam with him.

"Wha-"

"Just take me home," Jack whispered, before dropping her hand and heading down the corridor. With a quick glance at the General's office, Sam darted after him, wondering how a man with an injured leg could suddenly escape so quickly.


	12. Prophecy

"Was that guy flirting with you?"

"What guy?"

Sam pulled back the sheets, as Jack sat on the edge of the bed and took his shoes and socks off. She stared at the back of his head for a moment, struck by the sudden domesticity of their actions.

"That prisoner guy," Jack moaned, "The one who claimed he was the captain."

"On that planet a few weeks ago?" Sam scrunched up her eyes, trying to remember. "Nothing I couldn't handle..." She shrugged and climbed into bed. Jack turned and stared at her. "Why? Were you jealous?" She leered.

Jack simply huffed in response, earning a grin from his companion. She watched as he stripped down to his boxers before climbing in next to her. He spooned up behind her, pulling her into his chest and resting his chin on her shoulder. Their heads touched, side by side and Jack felt himself relax a little as Sam grazed her fingers across his arms.

"And you still haven't told me about what happened between you and Teal'c while I was gone," He whined, "I didn't miss that look you exchanged, by the way..."

"What look?"

"In Nirrti's cell."

Sam paused, her head turning slightly. "How long has this stuff been bothering you?"

Jack pursed his lips, tilting his head to one side. "I haven't seen you in a while," he said in defence. "Several weeks in fact... well not like this..." He buried his head into the dip in her shoulder again, and closed his eyes.

"Jack?" Sam could feel the tension leaking through from his skin to hers.

"Hmmm..."

"What's wrong?"

Jack willed himself to keep still, which must have been the wrong move, as Sam turned in his arms to face him. She stroked his cheek with her thumb and waited.

"You don't feel guilty?" He watched a frown knit her eyebrows and sighed. "That envelope had been sitting in his drawer for years, and all I could do was sit there and lie to him... Just like now!"

"I think, due to the contents of that envelope, it's pretty safe to say, none of this matters anymore."

"How can you say that?!"

Sam sighed, halting any more words that Jack thought were going to come tumbling out. "Yes, I feel guilty, okay, but-"

"None of this matters?!"

"Jack-"

"What happened to 'shit, what have we done, Jack?' or 'I still can't believe you kissed me' or my personal favourite 'I never imagined I'd break these damn regs by shagging you senseless?' Jesus! What has happened to _my_ Samantha Carter?"

"She's had enough!"

Jack's mouth hung open and then promptly shut. He looked at the angry face that mirrored his own, their bodies tangled in the sheets, now both sitting at arm's length apart.

"I've had enough of feeling guilty, Jack!" Sam ignored his silence and carried on. "All that time you were gone made me realise I can't do this anymore! Pretending that I don't love you the way I do – it's hard and I know that you feel the same, but we don't have to do this anymore! Hammond has given us a way out – can't you just let it drop?"

"Not for another week he hasn't!"

"He let me drive you home with that letter, and knowing full well how we would react to it."

"Sam, we could still get a court martial!"

"Then why are you here?"

"I live here!"

"Well," Sam huffed and fluffed up her pillow, "I'm tired, so I'm not going anywhere," and with that she turned round and scooted to her side of the bed.

"Sam!"

"You don't think, if someone was going to say something, they would have by now?"

"I guess..."

There was a long pause, before Jack finally shook his head and laid back down again.

"Are you done?"

"Huh?"

"Being grouchy? Are you done?"

"I'm not grouchy..." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close again. He felt a puff of air hit his arms before he spoke again. "Sorry..." Sam's arms appeared around his and squeezed lightly. "I just... Something just doesn't sit right. And he lied, Sam, Hammond lied..."

"About what?" She asked.

"About covering all our interests."

"Jack, he is trying..."

"I know, but..."

"But what?"

"If I'd have known that it would be this easy, I'd have done this a long time ago." That earned him a chuckle. "I'm serious. The regulations are there to protect all of us, I know that. That's why I stuck it out so long." He paused, concentrating on the feel of her skin against his. "What if Hammond can't sway the powers that be?"

"You think he can't?" Her voice was a whisper, and Jack felt her sudden intake of breath. He suddenly felt guilty for projecting his fears onto her and pulled her closer, waiting until her heart rate returned to normal before he responded.

"If anyone can, Hammond can..." Jack felt her hum in response and let out a big sigh. "Sorry for being impatient," He added, his voice sounding small and distant.

Sam patted his arm. "One more week," she said, trying to sound reassuring. She squirmed a little, trying to get comfortable, before settling back down again and closing her eyes. A few minutes passed before Jack's voice cut back into the silence.

"Do you think Jonas is going to be okay?" He asked softly.

Sam turned around in his arms to face him. For a moment Jack feared it was déjà vu. Until Sam leaned forwards and kissed him. "Jonas is going to be fine." She said, her voice suddenly strong. "So are we... and Teal'c and General Hammond..." She kissed him again. "You were really worried about him weren't you?" Jack nodded, attempting to say something funny, but for once nothing came out. "I told you that you'd like him... eventually..."

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat. "Your arm okay?" He rubbed his hand up and down it, careful to avoid the bandage.

"It's fine."

"Good."

"Now sleep," Sam told him and kissed his lips again. She snuggled in closer and watched him until Jack fell asleep.


	13. Full Circle

The sun was shining, the yard a washed with bright yellow tones from the midday's rays. They'd only arrived back from Abydos a few hours before and it had taken Doctor Frasier all of five minutes to ascertain SG1's mood. Her suggestion to celebrate the memory of the demised planet seemed fitting, and she knew that none of them would sleep now anyway, no matter how exhausted they were.

So there they were, sitting in Jack's back garden, sipping on beers, fruit juices and iced teas. Jack looked down at his guests from the back porch, tongs in his hand as he barbecued sausages and crucified burgers. He watched as Cassie stretched her legs, hitching her shorts up a little more in an effort to allow them to catch more sun. His mind couldn't help but wonder, as the thought of Skaara's wife-to-be popped into his mind; she would have been a similar age, he assumed. He wondered what she had looked like; if she had been as young and innocent as Sha're had once been; if she'd had some role in Abydos's community; or if she'd purely been some girl that had caught Skaara's eye and whom he couldn't help but fall hopelessly in love with. Jack sighed. He'd remembered how he'd felt at that age. It suddenly made him feel old.

He couldn't remember looking forward to anything of much lately, except maybe Carter, but the thought of seeing Skaara getting married had filled him with a new hope. Of the future, and all things new. A sense of pride had swept through him unbidden, when Skaara had asked him to stand by his side, and not even the fleeting thought of Charlie had swept it away. Not even the boy's audacity or the twinkle in Sam's eye had dented it either. He knew he should have felt guilty at that; replacing Skaara's ceremony for that of his son's. But the fact that he didn't filled him with some sort of relief. Maybe it was okay to remember and no longer feel sad. Or had the grief of losing Daniel and Skaara made him realise that his life had moved on since then, and so had he, whether he noticed it or not.

He did now, of course. The tall blonde who had served by his side for years and somehow worked her way into his heart, had shown him, ever so recently. As had Hammond's letter. Today was the day, he suddenly realised. The four weeks of waiting was up. Why hadn't George said anything? But then with all the recent activity, it was easy to forget. Jack himself had. Sam? Jack's eyes surveyed the garden for his soon to be no longer second in command. If that made sense. He'd have to think of a new word to describe her at some point. None of the usual descriptions seemed right. Just yet anyhow.

"You want to turn those over?"

Jack turned round at the sound of her voice, eyes fixing on hers before following her gaze back down to the minced meat. "Oh," He said, seeing the charred surface on one side and doing as she suggested.

"Thought you might need another," Sam smiled briefly and handed him a bottle.

"Thanks." His eyes lingered a little longer, his response drawn out slightly and Sam knew he wasn't just thanking her for the beer. She stood there waiting, knowing there was more to come. Jack shook his head at the fact that she knew him too well sometimes. "I didn't get the chance to thank you earlier either," He said, before cocking his head to one side. Sam raised an eyebrow. "For not giving up on the gate – for trying to contact Abydos."

Sam took a step closer. She touched his arm and Jack could feel her warmth seeping through his skin. "I wasn't about to give up on them." Jack simply nodded. "Besides that place..." She paused, Jack watching as she bit her lip and tried to find the right words. "Abydos was more than just some planet that we've visited. To all of us."

Jack stared into her eyes. He saw the significance behind her words. Neither of them had mentioned Daniel for a while but his reappearance had made reality smack into them again. Jack couldn't help but wonder that if it weren't for him ascending, there was a good chance he and Sam wouldn't be together. Then again the relationship between them was pretty much inevitable. The how, the why... all just details. They didn't matter.

The urge to pull Sam into his arms emerged, but the sound of Jonas laughing and Teal'c's deep tones reached his ears, and Jack tightened his grip on his bottle in the hope that it would subside. "Today's the day," He simply said instead.

A smile appeared on Sam's lips. Slowly at first, before it grew and filtered into her eyes. "It is." She paused. "Have you spoken to Hammond?"

"Not yet." Jack looked down at her hand, and the bottle in his hands and twirled it around with his fingers. "Think we should tell them?" He asked, motioning to the crowd below.

He watched as Sam tilted her head, an answer on her lips. But before she could respond, the sound of feet landing on the deck made her stop. Both turned to see Janet's small form standing just outside the back door. She held some drinks in her hand, and a somewhat confused expression. Her eyes quickly swept from one officer to the other, the hand on Jack's arm and their close proximity. Jack saw her taking it all in, gathering up the evidence as neither he nor Sam dared to move. Both of them had schooled their expressions.

Janet on the other hand, didn't seem to think there was any point in doing it herself. A small grin burst onto her face and she just looked at them expectantly. "I think that sounds like a good idea..." she said, answering Jack's previous question to Sam. Leaving them no time to respond, she sidestepped them, heading down the steps to the others in the garden. Jack swore she threw Sam a wink.

He looked at her expectantly. Sam did her best to hide a smile, before cocking her head at him. "I guess we have no choice now, don't you think?"

Jack simply nodded. They gathered up some food onto the plates and together they headed down to the empty chairs at the bottom of the garden.

"What's going on?" Cassie asked, after watching the two hand out food and sit next to each other in the deck chairs. Her mom had been jittery since she'd sat down and now the two people opposite her kept glancing at each other expectantly.

"Well," Jack leaned forwards in his chair and raised his beer. "First I'd like to raise a toast – to Abydos."

A series of arms rose into the air, accompanied by cries of 'here, here' and 'to Abydos.'

A few moments passed, as everyone settled again, before Jonas spoke up. "And second?" He asked.

Jack almost frowned. "Well second," He glanced up from the bottle in his hand, to look at the woman sitting by his side. "Second... we have news."

Everyone followed his gaze to Sam, then back again. And back again after that when Sam took a deep breath.

"I'm leaving SG1," she said, rushing the words out in a big sigh.

"What?!"

"Why?!"

"Really?!"

Teal'c just gave her the eyebrow.

"Hammond's giving me my own team," She added. All eyes were on her, and Jack noticed her nerves as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. "It will be a scientific team primarily, well to begin with anyway. More research based than recons, with a little military back up action thrown in for measure I'm sure..."

"Congratulations Major Carter."

"Thanks Teal'c," Sam smiled at the Jaffa, before turning to Jonas. "I'd like it if you would join my team? General Hammond has already cleared it but I wanted to ask you myself..."

"Er, yeah... sure!" Jonas stuttered, a grin sweeping over his face. "I mean I'm honoured – thank you! Not that I wasn't honoured serving with you, Colonel," He added, turning to look at the older man. "I was! But this is different, I mean-"

"Jonas!"

Jack's tone made him stop. Jonas smiled sheepishly and mumbled a 'sorry' as Sam looked between the two men and laughed.

"What will become of SG1?" Teal'c asked.

A few other heads nodded and all eyes landed on Jack. "Well," he said, "It will be you and me, Teal'c, plus two others I'm sure..." He clasped his hands and rubbed them together. "Hammond has given me a list of possibles, both existing SGC members and new recruits. Wanna help me choose?"

His question was light, but Jack knew the look in his eyes was full of desperation as he glanced at the other man. Despite preparing himself for the past month, he didn't have a clue how SG1 was going to function without its loyal astrophysicist, and was going to need all the support he could get. As Teal'c nodded, he felt a sigh escape his lips.

"Are you getting a promotion?" Cassie asked, her excitement evident in her voice. Sam simply shook her head, Cassie jumping in again and halting any words of response. "Why not? I mean, why else would he give you your own team?"

Janet sighed at the whine in her teenager's voice. "Cassie, honey, did I never teach you tact or restraint?"

"What?!" Cassie cried, throwing her mom an annoyed look over her shoulder.

Janet looked at both Sam and Jack with a smile. "So, you going to drop the other shoe?" The couple glanced at each other before turning back to the doctor. "Come on! I've been dying to get all the juicy details!"

Jack looked from one female to the other, a series of grins passing backwards and forwards. "There is no way that you are telling her anything!" He wagged his finger at Sam.

"Hey!" Janet cried. "It's the least you could do considering the fact that I've turned a blind eye for so long!"

"What?" Jack stared at the doctor. "You knew?!"

"Of course I did! I am trained to detect subtle changes in behaviour, you know... "

Covering his eyes with his hands, Jack groaned aloud. He peeked at Sam through his fingers and watched as she just sat there with a stupid grin on her face.

"What are you guys talking about?" Cassie suddenly asked. Jack turned his head and peeked at her instead, noticing that Jonas too, was nodding his head in agreement, while Teal'c had simply cocked his head and was watching the scene intently.

"Sam?!" Jack barked. She simply snorted.

"I don't get it," Cassie folded her arms across her chest, looking from Jack to Sam in confusion.

Jack dropped his hands from his face. He looked at the young woman briefly, before shifting in his seat to stare at Sam. He raised an eyebrow at her, knowing that his silent plea for her to reveal all was reaching her loud and clear. She knew he wasn't a man of words, why wasn't she doing anything?

As if answering his question, Sam moved forwards in her seat. Her knees touched his, and she leaned forwards, her hand reaching out. Within seconds Sam's hand had reached the back of his head and pulled him towards her. Planting her lips on his, she kissed him, softly, slowly and almost chaste. She pulled back with a grin on her face, and watched as Jack felt himself splutter in shock and embarrassment. "Oh my God!" He heard Cassie cry, and rather than face the music, he pulled Sam back into his grasp and kissed her back.

It was Jonas's laughter that pulled him back to reality. That and his clapping. At least he thinks it was Jonas clapping. Cassie was squealing and had leapt out of her seat and pulled Sam into a hug the second Jack had let her go. Janet was sitting there with a grin on her face, half hiding a giggle, and Jack didn't dare look at Teal'c.

"Beer?" Jonas asked, shoving a full bottle into the man's hands.

Jack simply nodded, unable to stop a smile from escaping when he looked at the grin across the man's face. "Ah, stop it!"

"Hey, I didn't say anything," Jonas held both hands up in mock surrender.

"You didn't have to!" But the annoyance in Jack's tone was belied by the sweep of laughter that somehow escaped his lips. He took a swig of beer and risked a glance at the Jaffa. Teal'c simply smiled and tilted his head. "Who wants more food?" Jack asked, jumping up from his seat and trying to expel the awkwardness he felt.

"I'll help!" Cassie cried, withdrawing her arms from Sam and clutching at Jack from behind. He felt her rest her head on his back briefly, her arms encircling his waist. "Please Uncle Jack?"

"Alright," he muttered, "You make a start," he cried, dashing into the house when he heard the phone ring.

He sensed Sam behind him, just as the call was ending. Not that it lasted long. A series of 'yes sir's' were muttered, before he put the phone back in its cradle.

"Was that the General?" She asked and Jack nodded. "And?"

He knew that she was referring to their situation. Hell, even he had expected Hammond's call to be about that. Now that their friends knew, and all the paperwork regarding the changes in the SGC completed, the plans were going to be put into effect. It was the only reason he could be calling, right?

No.

"Jack?" Concern crept into Sam's voice and she stared at him, confused.

Three other adults appeared, peering behind her and staring at him. But it wasn't until Cassie sauntered in, shoving a hot dog down her mouth that Jack shook his head and spoke.

"They've found Daniel."


	14. Chapter 14

Jack paced the corridor for the umpteenth time. He stopped at one end, spinning round on his heels and pausing to look at his friends. Teal'c sat on one of the benches, his back ramrod straight against the wall. Jack marvelled at how, even in the face of crisis, his comrade was still the epitome of calm. Which was probably why Sam was sitting next to him. Perching on the edge on the bench, her legs were stretched out in front of her; hands gripping the wooden wedge beneath her. From her pursed lips and white knuckles, Jack knew the bench was doing more than simply holding her body up. Cassie sat a few inches away in the corner, her legs curled up under her chin, eyes closed. In typical Cassie fashion, she was pretending to sleep just so that no one would whisk her away and not tell her what was going on. Only Jonas remained on his feet, leaning against the wall, his head tipped back. If he didn't know what had recently transpired, Jack would have read their postures as pure boredom.

For some reason that very thought made him feel angry. He clenched his hands into fists and forced himself to turn his back to face them. Closing his eyes briefly, he counted to ten and released a big breath. He unclenched his hands and let go of the tension in his body before turning back round again. Sam's eyes met his once he did. She smiled grimly, her eyes watering. Jack stared at her for a few moments, his mouth opening and closing as though he wanted to speak, but nothing came out.

Suddenly the door to the isolation room opened, breaking their silent communication, and immediately everyone was on their feet, their bodies surrounding the petite form of Doctor Frasier.

"Okay," She sighed. Five pairs of eyes fell upon her.

"How is he?" Sam asked.

"Physically he's fine," Janet replied. "He's lucky Colonel Reynolds and his team found him when they did, though – who knows how long he would have survived on that planet on his own."

"Yeah," Jack ran his hand through his hair, "I'm beginning to think that was part of the plan." Seeing all their eyes move in his direction, he added, "Drop him off on a planet that they knew was on our schedule," he waved his hands in the air, "You know, so that we would be sure to find him."

It was something that had been on his mind since Hammond had called, but it was only now that he'd finally voiced what he was thinking. Jack shrugged when Sam and Teal'c both gave him a look.

"What about mentally?" Jonas asked, suddenly voicing the question that no one else dared.

Janet sighed again. She looked at them each in turn, before finally speaking. "To be honest, he's not really himself. I believe he's suffering from some form of amnesia, possibly brought on by his decension. I've told him his name, and he seems to be cooperating with us, in the sense that he doesn't appear to fear us or see us as a threat of any kind."

"Is it temporary?" Jack asked. "The amnesia?"

Janet paused. "Honestly... I don't know. This is something we've never had to deal with before. Like I said, it could just be something that is associated with the physical transformation of going from an ascended being to becoming human again. In which case, we introduce him slowly back into his previous life and provide him with counselling and support until he gets his memories back."

The group of friends remained quiet for a moment, allowing the doctor's words to sink in. But it was Jack who broke the silence, his thoughts overuling his tongue before he had the chance to stop it.

"And if it isn't?" He asked. "If it's not temporary?" Jack could feel Sam's eyes imploring him, yet he continued to stare back at the doctor.

"I'm sorry," Janet said softly, "It's too early for me determine that at this time. We simply have to take each day as it comes..."

Jack nodded his head solemnly. He knew the answer even before it was given, before he'd even voiced the words. But they needed to be said. There was every chance that the Daniel that had come back was not the same Daniel that had left them over a year ago. He risked a glance at his now former 2IC. Her eyes had softened somewhat, as though she could tell what was going on in his mind.

"Are we able to see him Doctor Frasier?" Teal'c asked.

Janet hesitated. "For a few minutes only, and not all of you. Daniel needs his rest and I don't think he can handle too many visitors right now."

Jack watched as Sam shifted on her feet. "You go," She said, looking over at him. He raised an eyebrow. It went even higher when Teal'c bowed his head at him and Jonas nodded in agreement. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded in response, unable to get any words out. With a short flick of her own head, Janet spun on her heels and led the Colonel into the isolation room. The others drifted back onto the wooden benches in the corridor and simply waited.

Jack's eyes roamed the man's currently laying on the medical bed. He looked fine, normal enough. Pretty much as Daniel looked before he got sick; pretty much as he had appeared to Jack the several times this past year.

He hesitated as he approached the bed, unsure if the man was sleeping or not. As if sensing Jack's presence, Daniel opened his eyes, his head turning over to look at him.

Jack stopped and stuffed his hands into his pockets, rocking backwards and forwards on his feet.

Daniel merely squinted at him. "I know you, don't I?"

Jack nodded, realising that someone – probably the medical staff – had given Daniel his glasses. "We're friends... Odd as that sounds..."

Daniel frowned. "That's odd?"

"Oh yeah," Jack agreed.

"How long have we known each other?"

"Oh about seven years now..."

Daniel's frown deepened. "We've known each other for seven years and yet you think our friendship is... odd?"

"Hmmm... It's complicated," Jack pulled his right hand out of his pocket and waved it in the air. "You are a scientist – I'm not one for science, really, but then, you know I met you and Sam, and well -"

"Sam?"

"Yeah, cute tall blonde on our team. You and her often talk in a language that I pretend to understand..." Jack looked at the puzzled expression on Daniel's face and realised that he'd not been making much sense. "Anyway... I just came to make sure that you're okay, so..." He shrugged absentmindedly, looking down at his feet before turning to walk away.

"Jack?"

Jack stopped and looked over at his friend.

"It is Jack, isn't it?" Jack nodded. "Thanks..."

"You're welcome..." He smiled a little, swallowing the lump in his throat before turning around and walking out of the door.

Once on the other side, his other friends were back onto their feet again the second that he emerged. Jack watched as Sam restrained herself from leaping over at him, instead rocking back on her heels and pulling Cassie under her arm. "How is he?" She whispered.

Jack paused, briefly glancing at the others before his eyes rested back on hers. "I think he'll be fine," He said, his voice thick with emotion.

A chorus of prayers echoed around him. Sam squeezed Cassie's shoulder, all the while her eyes remaining locked with his. Jack simply stared back, a new hope in his heart, and smiled. Finally he sighed in relief.


	15. Chapter 15

"So..." Jack twirled a newly opened bottle of beer around in his hand, feeling its weight, and watching the faint swirl of liquid crash against the glass. "How does it feel to be home?" He looked up at the man beside him, feeling him pause even before he tilted his head and pondered Jack's question.

"A little odd actually," Daniel replied.

"A little?"

Daniel shrugged, his own beer jostling in his hand. "Well you know, you go away for a while, things happen, people carry on without you, you come back... everything seems almost exactly the same as when you left, except it's the little things that aren't."

"Little?" Jack asked.

Daniel simply frowned at his friend's repetitiveness. "Yeah," he said dryly.

It had taken Daniel a week before he had began to fully get his memories back. At first it was names and faces, then, with a little encouragement from Jack, Sam and Teal'c, he began to piece together some of the more bizarre scenarios that kept appearing in his head. Once he'd got to grips with the Stargate programme, everything else seemed to slowly fall into place. There were still one or two things that he couldn't quite remember, and a few memories he couldn't quite understand, but he was getting there. He'd finally been allowed home a few days ago, and in true SG1 spirit, the others had organised a team night in. A way to help him get back into things. Or so they had said. Daniel couldn't help but shake the feeling that something else was going on, but with everything that he had been experiencing lately, he couldn't really tell.

"So... you don't remember much from when you were ascended then?" Jack asked innocently. They were sitting on Daniel's couch, waiting for the rest of the guests to arrive.

Daniel scrunched up his face. "Haven't you asked me that before?"

"Have I?" Jack shrugged and watched as Daniel nodded. "Well, you know, you got your memories back pretty quick... Maybe it works the same with this ascension thingy?"

"Jack," he almost sounded aspirated, "Somehow I don't think it works that way..." Jack simply shrugged in response. "Did much happen while I was gone?"

"A little..."

"A little?"

Just as Jack opened his mouth to speak, they heard a knock on the front door, the guests finding it unlocked and working their way into the apartment.

"Hey," Sam called, smiling brightly as she found the two men silently sipping their beers. She was followed closely by an equally smiley Janet, and a rather excitable Cassie. The teenager cried out at the archaeologist, shoving a pile of DVDs into Sam's hands before flinging herself onto the couch and giving Daniel a hug. Jack desperately tried not to spill his beer as the girl squished between them and rolled his eyes, glaring up at her mother.

Janet simply chuckled. "Jealous?"

"You want something to drink?" Jack asked, blatantly ignoring the doctor's question. He got up from the couch and looked from one female to the other, innocently awaiting an answer.

Sam couldn't help but grin. "Sounds good to me." Her grin grew wider when Jack flashed her a smile before wandering off into the kitchen, her eyes following. It wasn't until Janet nudged her in the back, nearly spilling the DVDs out of her arms, that Sam shook her head and came back to reality. "So Daniel, how are you feeling?"

"Wishing that everyone would stop asking him that, probably..." Cassie blurted out, while Daniel's mouth simply open and closed momentarily.

"Cassie!"

The young woman looked up at her mother, "Sorry," she mumbled then flicked her eyes up to Daniel. He smiled reassuringly before turning to Sam to answer her question.

"Good, thanks."

"Have you got any more memories back?"

"A few," He nodded his head.

"Anything from when you were ascended?"

Daniel frowned and looked up at the blonde hovering over him. She held an innocent expression, to which he couldn't quite remember what exactly it meant. He cursed at himself inwardly, eyes still searching his friend's face. "Jack just asked me that."

"Really?"

Cassie snorted, and Daniel looked from his suddenly guilty team mate, down at the teenager by his side. But before he could voice his confusion, another knock sounded on the door, closely followed by the missing house guests.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, announcing his and Jonas's arrival, "We have brought pizza."

"Lots of pizza!" Jonas added, appearing behind the big Jaffa. Both men held several boxes in their hands.

"Someone say pizza?" Jack called, emerging from the kitchen. He placed a few bottles on the table, and handed Cassie and Teal'c some squash. He rubbed his hands together, glancing amongst his friends, before adding "We gonna eat or what?"

A few minutes passed as everyone settled in the living room, drinks being handed out and several slices of pizza landing on plates. Cassie, who'd brought along the movies, began sifting through them and shouting out titles, trying to see which one they should watch.

"So..." Daniel cried, swallowing a mouth of pizza. "What did I miss while I was gone?" He took another bite. "Anything exciting happen?"

Silence filled the room, all eyes suddenly descending on him. A few moments later and Daniel watched as several pairs of eyes began glancing at each other.

But it was Cassie's sigh that finally broke the silence. "Well," She said, "Jonas replaced you on the team and has been gallivanting across the galaxy like you once did. Sam and Jack almost drowned on a Goa'uld ship that landed on Earth. Jack became a Tok'ra -"

"What?!" Daniel cried.

"Yep!" Cassie exclaimed. "Seriously, it wasn't cool... He was gone for ages and everyone else just moped around until he got back."

Daniel looked over at Jack who sat on the sofa opposite him. The other man simply shrugged, before returning his gaze on the other members.

"I did not mope," Teal'c, seated next to Daniel, simply added making the others laugh.

"Then," Cassie continued, "Jack got accused of killing some boring Politian guy -" Jack simply shrugged again as Daniel's eyes sought his once more, "And then he disappeared on some planet and everyone thought he was dead for a while -"

"Jack!" Daniel suddenly cried, "What the hell were you doing while I was gone?!"

"Hey! It wasn't my fault all that stuff kept happening!"

"See what happens when he hasn't got you to look after him?" Janet added with a smile. She tilted her head at Daniel before chancing a glance at the Colonel. Jack shot her a look and she giggled at him, stuffing some pizza in her mouth before daggers could start shooting out of his eyes.

"Then Jonas got sick," Cassie said, picking back up with her narrative. "Then he got better!" She threw him a grin, before turning back to Daniel. "And now... well, just before you reappeared Sam announced that she's leaving SG1 and now has her own team-"

"What?! Really?"

Sam merely nodded and swallowed her mouthful of food.

"That's great!" Daniel cried. "I mean the team won't be the same without you, but that's great!" He pushed his glasses back up his nose and watched as Sam threw him a smile. "So what made this happen? Are you getting promoted?"

"That's what I asked," Cassie uttered, temporarily diverting Daniel's gaze.

Sam's smile tightened on her lips. "Not exactly... Well actually no. It's a scientific research based team," She said. "Jonas is joining me."

"You're leaving SG1?" Daniel asked, turning to Jonas who sat on the floor next to Cassie.

The other man simply shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I learnt a lot from the team here, and I mean a lot. But now you're back... Kind of makes sense not to have two guys like us on the same team."

"Huh..." Daniel's brow furrowed briefly and he looked over at Jack. "So who's taking Sam's place?"

"Me and Teal'c have been interviewing people and going through some new recruits' files..." Jack took a sip of his beer. "We've yet to pick someone."

"What O'Neill means to say, is that he does not like any of those recommended to him," Teal'c bowed his head in Daniel's direction, and if Daniel didn't know any better, held a slight smile on his lips.

"Hey, it was bad enough trying to find someone to replace Daniel!" Jack cried in his own defence. Then, after a sharp nudge to his ribs from Sam, added, "No offence Jonas..."

"None taken," Jonas replied. He smiled at Sam and nodded at the Colonel as he continued.

"And well," Jack looked at the floor, his voice lowering and his expression becoming kind of sheepish, "No one can quite replace Carter, so..."

"Ahhh..." Jack's head shot up at Janet and he threw her an annoyed glance. "Sam, I love this affectionate side that you've brought out of him," Janet continued, giving her friend a big wink and smile.

A wave of embarrassment swept over Sam's face, but it didn't stop her from putting her hand on Jack's arm and squeezing it lightly. Jack's eyes met hers briefly, eliciting a smile.

"Er..." Daniel's voice cut into the room and everyone's heads snapped back to his. "Guys?" He asked warily.

Cassie, who was currently chewing on her pizza, quickly glanced from Sam and Jack to Daniel and back again. "He doesn't know?" She asked incredulously. Seeing the expressions on everyone's faces, the girl simply grinned.

"Know what...?" Daniel's voice still held an uneasy tone.

"About Sam and Jack being together," the words slipped out of Cassie's mouth almost effortlessly.

Daniel stared at the girl in the middle of the room. Then at Sam and Jack who sat side by side on the opposite couch. Sam was biting her bottom lip – an attempt to stop the shameless grin from sweeping across her face, no doubt. Jack had his nonchalant mask on, trying to appear as innocent as possible. For what seemed like an eternity, the three sat looking at each other in silence, no one quite sure what to say.

Daniel watched as Sam and Jack looked at each other. The affectionate glances were still there, as they had always been, but something was different. The atmosphere between them was warm, easy, and above all, tension free. Daniel couldn't help but smile, and as he looked around the room, he noticed that everyone else around him seemed more at ease than he remembered.

Clearing his throat, Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and glanced at Jack. "A little?" He asked.

Jack simply shrugged, a low smile forming on his lips. "Maybe more than a little..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dedicated to Ron, who upon leaving this world, made me realise the importance of so many things. May you descend yourself some day.


End file.
